A very good morning to you all! Welcome to Monday Motivation #21 – I hope you’re feeling super motivated for the week ahead. I’ve been mulling lots of things over this week and manically trying to find a new job so the blog and my social media have taken a bit of a back seat. I went for my first run in two years yesterday! It felt pretty good considering but I really thought it was about time a made a move to get back to fitness as I’ve been afraid I might be rapidly turning into a bit of a couch slob! I thought I would write a bit about fear today as this is something that’s definitely been on my mind over the past few weeks.
Anxiety is a bit of a buzz word at the moment, every other person you meet is suffering from it. I think it’s definitely a sign of the times and a result of the pressure we put on ourselves. There’s a lot of anxiety in our house and we try not to make too much of an issue of it. In my personal opinion, the more you focus on something the more it becomes a thing so we try to focus on the positives and not dwell on our worries too much. Fidget Spinners are all the rage at the moment and we have two in our house. They drive me absolutely crazy and do nothing to relieve any anxious feelings I may have…in fact they do quite the opposite! The boys in my life seem to love them though so I am having to learn to live with them!
Anxiety and fear aren’t necessarily linked and sometimes the things that make us anxious are very different from the things that make us scared. Here are the top 5 things that scare me:
- CHANGE – I mentioned this in a post a while ago but change is probably my biggest and most annoying fear. Archie seems to have inherited this from me and it can be quite debilitating. I’ve had to teach myself to deal with change and to move on from things comfortably. I have a tell-tale sign when things are bothering me in that I yawn and sigh uncontrollably. Sometimes it’s the only way that even I know that something is worrying me and the yawning and sighing alone can be pretty stressful. I first noticed this when I was 18 and was studying for my A’Levels and it has stayed with me ever since.
- FAILURE – I am a pretty competitive person (as anyone that knows me will tell you!). However, failing is something that I really struggle with, so much so that I often avoid starting things or don’t finish things so that I can’t fail. Stupid right?! I’ve made a conscious effort over the past few years to really go out of my comfort zone and try new things and stick to them…it’s definitely a satisfying feeling to know that failure isn’t the end of the world and that you can’t succeed if you don’t at least try.
- THE TELEPHONE – Ok this is ridiculous and I have absolutely no idea why I am scared of the telephone but I am! I will avoid using the phone at every opportunity and will communicate in any other way possible rather than make or receive a call. When I was a teenager I spent hours on the phone to friends so I’m not sure what happened to change that but I get myself in such a state if I have to make a call especially if it is for work.
- SPIDERS – Horrible big black spiny spiders – I don’t think I need to say anymore – they terrify me! In my first week living in a flat on my own after moving out of home I had to call my Mum at 11pm to come and catch a spider from my living room! My Dad bought me a little stick with a box on the end to catch spiders in but I couldn’t ever get close enough to the spider to use it!
- GETTING OLD – Ok this isn’t something I’m terrified of but definitely something that bothers me. In my head I am definitely still only 25 so when I look in the mirror and see all those lines and creases and the way my body aches when I get up in the morning it’s always a bit of a shock! I don’t think I’m scared so much about getting old but more that I will get old before I’ve had a chance to do all the things I want to. I’m very aware that worrying too much about it will only shorten my life though which I guess would be ironic.
The number one fear for people is public speaking. This is something that I’ve definitely suffered from in the past but also something that I have overcome. I will be sharing my short online course in helping to overcome a fear of public speaking and performance in the next few weeks and hope that the tips I have can help others become a little more confident.
I recently watched a video of Will Smith that popped up on my Facebook where he mentions that ‘Everything you want is on the other side of fear’ and it’s so true. When you actually go through with something you have been so worried about you soon realise that worrying was completely ridiculous and actually the thing you were so scared about was, in fact, the best thing ever. On our trip to Naples last year we went on an air boat ride. Archie refused to go at first, he was so terrified…boats being one of the things that he has developed a fear of. I gave him a pep talk and eventually convinced him to go on but you could see the worry that consumed him the night before and all morning until we went on the ride. I distinctly remember watching his face change and his body relax as the ride began and then once it was finished he came bouncing off declaring it was the best thing he had ever done. And it’s certainly true that the point of maximum danger is the point of minimum fear. All the fear and worry that builds up just disappears once you start and then you can enjoy the experience.
So what are your fears and have you managed to overcome any of them? My advice to Archie in his letter when he jetted of to America on his basketball tour was to ‘Do something every day that scares you’ and I try to live by that wherever possible…maybe not every day but I try my best to do things that I would once have instantly said ‘no’ to. I definitely think it makes me a stronger and more confident person.
Have a fantastic week! Until next time…
Nicx
I have just been diagnosed with Anxiety, my centre around sickness: the kids wake in the night I get anxious they are ill, we have a big event coming up I get anxious that I’m going to miss it because I’m ill, book a holiday and I get anxious I’m going to ruin it by being ill…the more I worry the more I make myself sick and the more likely I am to ruin what I’m worried about ruining! #kcacols
Oh goodness it is like a vicious circle isn’t it?! My son’s anxiety centres around sickness too…he is terrified of being ill or of anyone around him being ill. I think recognising that your anxiety is actually causing the thing you are most scared of is half the battle. I have discovered that distraction is the best medicine…for me, my partner and my son – keeping busy and focusing on positive things in our lives has been so helpful.
I’m another suffering from anxiety, it really is everywhere and is definitely too much pressure and spreading ourselves too thinly! I’ve suffered since I was a child with anxiety which used to come out as OCD due to a fear of something bad happening to my family. That’s still my biggest fear. I also have a fear of driving which I’m trying to work on because I want more freedom to get out and about to new places! #postsfromtheheart
Good luck continuing to overcome your anxiety. I used to have OCD…not too bad but I used to think if I didn’t do certain things then something bad would happen and so would be really obsessive over stuff. One day I just decided to stop…everything got so much better after that but the work and effort it took to stop was insane!
I guess publishing my poems rather than leaving them on my laptop was a big one for me and so glad I did. #TriumphantTales
Well done…that’s a big step!
I am exactly the same with the phone!!! I am all good with messgages and social media but as soon as anyone actually phones me on it I panic! I never ever answer it unless I know the caller. I figure if it important they will leave a voicemail. But then when I do get a voicemail I panic all over again! So silly.
Well done with the run!!
#KCACOLS
Lol! This is exactly the same as me! I hold the phone in my hand when it’s ringing trying to decide whether to answer it or not until it goes to voicemail then I pray they don’t leave a message!
fear does hold us back. It is not always easy to step over those fears, but maybe we should try to do so more.
#TriumphantTales
Oh, so much to say! I loved your letter to Archie went he went off to his trip by the way! Congrats on going for a run! And what comes through from this post is that you have so much self-awareness – that’s one great thing to have when you’re dealing with anxieties and fears. And as you say, focusing on the positives by focusing on the present and the things you’re grateful for goes such a long way, I find. I’ve seen the Will Smith video, and it was amazing, wasn’t it? As to what scares me the most it’s definitely not to be able to be there for or protect my boys, in so many ways! Thanks for a brilliant post and for linking up to #KCACOLS. Hope to see you again next time!
Thank you for your lovely comments 🙂
I really enjoyed this post. I too have a bit of a fear of the phone, perhaps not has bad as you but I will always prefer to send a text or an email if I can avoid making a call. I don’t put it down to anxiety. It’s just the way I am. I did a personality test once at work and it was one of the questions in there that determined that I was an introvert. It was really interesting. Thanks so much for linking up to #TriumphantTales, we’d love to have you back next week 🙂
I think the phone thing is quite common…especially now when there are so many alternatives available to us 🙂
How strange! I used to be the same about calls, I wouldn’t like anyone else in the room either. #KcACOLS
Oooh! Glad it’s not just me!!
I get crippling anxiety sometimes and it feels like i cant breath. Its when i take too much on and try and please everyone. The person who suffers is me. It comes and goes but i just cant learn my lesson #Postsfromtheheart
It is so difficult to learn to say no to people and actually put ourselves first. I regularly volunteer to do things and then wonder why on earth I did when I find myself in a situation where I have too much on!
Im petrified of birds but my MIL has a parrot as does Hubbys grandparents so i faced my fears – it doesnt mean I like it though hahaha!
Thank you for sharing this with us at #TriumphantTales. I hope you find ways to ease your anxiety!
I’m terrified of any rodent like animals – invade they give me germs haha #KCACOLS
Ha ha! Little things with tales that run fast freak me out too!
I watched that video from Will Smith too, it really resonated with me. But I’m also really struggling at the moment with depression & anxiety. My main fear is definitely being a failure, and not being ‘good enough’ for my children.
I’ve sought help + have a plan in place…now to hope it works! #kcacols
Glad to hear you’ve found help and have a plan – I really hope it works for you because you are definitely good enough!
Like you, I hate the phone and will always, always try to use email/text/private message/carrier pigeon if I can! I also fear failure, and criticism. I’m not good at being told I failed or didn’t do well at something, which really makes trying new things hard. And then there’s the more usual phobias – mine include clowns, moths, balloons and vomit! #postsfromtheheart
My son has a fear of vomit too…it’s a nightmare because the worrying usually actually ends up making him sick!