Hello all! This will probably be a short post as I have some serious shopping and cake-eating to do but I thought I ought to mark this special day with a blog post. Birthdays come round so quickly…it feels like only yesterday I was freaking out about turning 40 and now, at 42, I feel like I’m taking it in my stride. I am definitely not 42 though and I wonder if I’ve missed something I was supposed to learn about growing up because I don’t think I am. I am getting older…my wrinkles and the odd grey hair are telling me that but inside I feel exactly the same as I did at 25. I guess I must have matured a bit but I still feel like a girl, I still feel young which is great…I just wish the mirror would stop reminding me that I am not! I remember talking to my Mum about this a few years ago. At 81 she is healthy, active and everything I hope I will be at that age. She is defying the internal ageing process brilliantly and long may it continue. At 70 she told me that she still felt the same inside as she did when she was 19, the only time it occurred to her that she was not was when she creaked as she walked down the stairs!
I guess when I was 25 I thought I would pretty much have it sorted by 42 – so tell me this…is it ok to not have a clue what you are doing or where your life is going at 42?! At 18 I knew I wanted to be a leisure centre manager. I don’t know why I wanted to do that other than it looked like a cool job! By the age of 23 that was my job, I was managing a leisure centre and although I was never brilliant at it, I kind of enjoyed it and I felt like I had achieved my goal. By 30 I had managed several bigger centres and health clubs and realised that I wasn’t really that good at it and started to wonder whether I had chosen the right path. I tried different jobs within leisure, all of which I enjoyed, but none that I really excelled at. It is now nearly a year since I gave up my career to find a new path and although I am enjoying a bit more freedom and the job I am currently doing I would love to know what I was meant to do. I don’t know if many people end up doing the job they were really meant to do or whether we all just fall into careers by accident or by misplaced judgement. I have several friends who have changed their career paths in the last 18 months so I wonder if it is just a sign of turning 40. Is this our last ditch attempt to really get it right before it’s too late? Baz Luhrmann famously said ‘The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t’ and this gives me an element of comfort. Life is short and precious and I suppose living in the moment is the best way to deal with it. I might still be flailing around not knowing what I’m doing at 50 but if I’m happy and my family is happy then maybe that was what I was meant to do.
Happy Birthday to all those who share my birthday today! Have a great day and remember, in the words of Cookie Monster –
‘Today me will live in the moment, unless it’s unpleasant, in which case me will eat a cookie!’